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Now Say This: The Right Words to Solve Every Parenting Dilemma, by Julie Wright MFT
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Review
PRAISE FOR NOW SAY THIS"This positive guide offers easy-to-remember ideas and tactics for those moments, some tough and some seemingly simple, when parents just don't know what say. My favorites—'we're leaving room in our tummy for dinner' and 'we're taking a break from soccer to leave our afternoons free for other things'—are great examples of proactive, affirmative strategies that help our kids understand our choices and learn to communicate better themselves."- KJ Dell'Antonia, former lead editor for The New York Times Motherlode blog"Heather and Julie’s techniques have given me the tools I so desperately needed to help my kids through their sad, angry, unrelenting moments. It has helped my husband and me to communicate better with them, and for them, in turn, to communicate better with each other as siblings." -Joy Cho, Founder and Creative Director of Oh Joy! “This is a brilliantly practical guide to a style of parenting that’s not only kinder but way more effective. The best way to teach children to listen is to listen to them - which is the start of the simple, powerful three-step process the authors reveal here. As the Dad of amazing, feisty three-year-old Holly, I lapped this up and look forward to using it every day.”-Julian Treasure, five time TED speaker and author of How To be Heard "This immensely practical guide to the tough parenting questions is a life saver! With detailed explanations, stories, and scripts, Wright and Turgeon show how parents can be empathetic and loving, while setting limits. This wise and compassionate book brings the spirit of mindfulness to where parents and children need it the most— the really hard stuff. I can’t wait to try it out with my daughter!" -Diana Winston, Director of Mindfulness Education, UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center, and author of Fully Present: The Science, Art, and Practice of Mindfulness. "Instantly useable. Their practical and compassionate method gets you unstuck from difficult parenting moments and gives kids the tools to grow into responsible, emotionally savvy adults." -Lori Gottlieb, Psychotherapist and author of Marry Him “I love this book! 'Now Say This' is the perfect go-to for parents who want to communicate clearly with their children, in a manner that actually works. Their solution-based concept of attune/limit set/problem solve is constructive and empowering for the child, allowing them to feel heard, while at the same time, giving parents a specific strategy for solving every day parenting dilemmas. Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright have come up with easy, effective scripts and examples that make it easy to incorporate into your day to day family life. An absolute must-have book.”-Pattie Fitzgerald, founder safelyeverafter.com"Read through the eyes of a grandmother, I gained so much new and invaluable insight as to how to effectively and empathically communicate with my grandchildren."-Wendy Haldeman, MN, RN, IBCLC. Co-founder of The Pump Station & Nurtury“Turgeon and Wright’s new book offers practical, no-nonsense solutions to disciplining children, and they claim that it is totally possible to be both warm and nurturing while setting clear and appropriate limits for your kids. (Imagine that!)”-BabblePRAISE FOR THE HAPPY SLEEPER"The Happy Sleeper makes happier parents by unleashing their child’s natural ability to sleep with a sensitive, structured approach based on the authors' combined twenty years of clinical experience."—Dr. Mehmet Oz"Clear a space on your bookshelf! You'll be consulting this friendly, research-based guide to the blessings of sleep for you and your little ones for many years to come." —Adele Faber, co-author of How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk “Compassionate, courageous, and creative. . . Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright have written a user-friendly, scientifically-informed, practical guide that provides the information and intention you need to cultivate healthy sleeping habits not only for your child, but for yourself as well! Give your children the relationship security they need while also providing them the structure they require to sleep well and thrive.”—from the foreword by Daniel J. Siegel, MD, New York Times-bestselling author of Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain“An important resource for parents seeking to give their children a lifetime of quality sleep. Good sleep habits are vital to child development and overall health, and The Happy Sleeper offers real-world strategies for getting children the sleep they need.”—David M. Cloud, CEO, National Sleep Foundation
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About the Author
Heather Turgeon, MFT is a psychotherapist who specializes in sleep and parenting. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times and The Washington Post, among others. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two kids. She and Julie frequently speak at parenting centers and schools, and offer sleep consultations and individual therapy. Julie Wright, MFT is the creator of the Wright Mommy and Me, one of Los Angeles' best known mommy and me programs. She has specialized training and experience in the 0-3 years, interning at Cedars Sinai Early Childhood Center and LA Child Guidance Clinic. She divides her time between Los Angeles and New York City and has a son in college.
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Product details
Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: TarcherPerigee (May 29, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 014313034X
ISBN-13: 978-0143130345
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.7 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.9 out of 5 stars
20 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#29,720 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Now Say This arrived yesterday - perfect timing - since we had an "adventure" in the car with our new puppy that ended with my 6 year old sobbing, 10 year old yelling and the poor puppy freaking out. I was completely frazzled. I started reading the book out loud with the kids over dinner. Read the parent's part about how we yell, nag etc. when frustrated and my kids laughed and nodded - yes - some of the examples sound like mom. Went through the ALP steps (attune, limit set, problem solve) and then tried it. The kids were super into it and we had a great talk and came up with some new plans for when we are stressed out. This only took about five minutes and was such a great reset for us. So the bottom line - this book is an easy read, practical and helpful from page one and the techniques work for children of different ages (probably for spouses too). Will keep reading...
I have to say I so rarely get a parenting book that I actually finish and want to review. This one really spoke to me. It is immensely helpful with the practicle steps, and real examples. I am the parent with the best intentions that often gets frustrated in the moment and yells. The practice of the 3 steps kind of resets the way everyone in the family communicates. I even see the kids being more relfective and less reactive in some hard moments. Everyone is calming down. My kids are old enough (6 and 11) to understand that there is an intention behind this. But I wish I had read this when they were younger! After reading this am hopful that our start to the school year will be less stressful around morning and homework times.
This is a truly fantastic book. My wife and I have started putting ALP into practice and have already begun to see some encouraging changes around our household. Although a challenge at times, staying positive and calm has started to rub off on my daughter. When we slip I can see a negative difference in how she reacts, which to me just reinforces that the process works. One thing mentioned in the book that has proven especially true, she really loves to help! What a lifesaver for when we have to get something done. I used to have to turn on a movie and hope it would hold her attention while I made dinner. Now, I can tell her that I know she really wants to keep playing with me, but that it’s time to make dinner and that I could really use her help. We get out a step stool and she happily “helps†me. Great bonding moments. I could go on and on, but in short, Thank you!
I learned about the authors when I attended an in-person Happy Sleeper workshop when my oldest was an infant. I learned so much about how babies sleep and we implemented changes to get the whole family more rest. Over the past few years, we've worked with Julie Wright to gently manage sleep regressions and even created a sleep plan in advance for my youngest. When I saw Julie and Heather had a parenting book coming out, I knew I wanted to read it!I was very lucky to learn about Resources in Educaring when I was pregnant. It helped me through the newborn period and continues to inform my parenting with my 3.5 and 1 year olds. But what do you do if you haven’t found a parenting approach that resonates with you before your kids are born? What do you do if you need help today? What do you do if you’ve read the articles that say yelling, screen time and spanking are all bad, and now you need help doing something different?“Now Say This†lays out the big and small picture. How to have the relationship you want with your children and how to get them out of the tub at the end of bath. What do you do when they won’t get out? There’s an acronym to help you! ALP! Incorporating ALP (attune, limit-set, problem solve) doesn’t mean all meltdowns will stop, but it does mean that you can get through it while being the loving parent in charge.Parents these days are busy with work, managing the home and multiple children, this book breaks down how to interpret your child’s behavior and practical ways to enjoy your relationship with your children at all ages through healthy boundaries and genuine empathy.
I love this practical guide for speaking to children effectively and with respect. I'm a busy working mom (physician) of 8 and 10 year old children. The three step process (ALP) made it simple as I learned to implement their method. Now it feels natural, and my home environment is happier (and feels easier after a long day) because of it. My husband and I feel we have more time to truly enjoy our kids now. Oddly, we didn't realize we had a problem, and I read the book because I learned so much from the authors in their first book together. Thank you, Heather and Julie!!
This book, and the author's Happy Sleeper, are incredible resources for parents. This book is easy to read, concepts are clear and the examples are excellent. It really is both a guide to parenting as well as a practical how-to. Now Say This offers techniques that work with adults, too. I appreciate the respect the authors convey for all parenting styles and parenting mistakes. It takes away the stigma that you have to do it right. It supports the notion that we should do our best with an understanding of child development. In addition, their ALP notion is easy to remember, especially in the heat of a difficult child-rearing moment! I am giving this book, and Happy Sleeper, to every new parent I know. It just makes so much sense to me.
In an ideal world, this book would be required reading for every human who has a child. This book can make the world a better place, and at least make the reader's world a better place. Now Say This is going to be my gift for everyone's birthday or for any baby shower moving forward. As I was reading it, I was seeing my middle child and all his issues, my niece who is a seriously troubled middle child and my brother who has always lacked the tools to deal with her. I feel empowered with the 3-step approach to difficult moments and all the specific examples and case studies!
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